How to Connect with People

We want to mingle and commune with other beings, because we need that connection.  But how good a connector are you?

I think that the best way to connect with others is to connect with yourself first.  Often, we feel insecure in our relationships because we cannot just be ourselves.  We feel we have to pretend, to impress, to agree because we really don't know how to be ourselves or don't know who we really are...the person inside us.  We're so externally-focused that we forget there's a Self living inside us, waiting to be set free.  We want to be liked, so we don't want to rock the boat.  Sometimes we just say what we think they expect us to say. 

That's because we are not connected inside.  A person who disconnected with her/his true self is very insecure about herself or himself.  Why?  Because she doesn't know who he or she really is.  The uncertainty is what makes is insecure.  How can you make a good analysis or opinion if you don't know the data by heart?

You think it's that simple?  No!  Because we want to assimilate, we can't even distinguish our own likes and dislikes from other people's likes and dislikes.  We want what others want because we don't know what we want or are afraid of rejection.  It's almost as if it's better to not be yourself, but accepted by society.  It's hard for us to distinguish our own ideas, the one that organically come from us, willingly, naturally and wholeheartedly -- because we believe in what others tell/teach us.  Are your beliefs yours or your parents', teachers', friends'.  We believe in the media and trends.  We want to be part of the culture.  That's fine if you already are connected with yourself...if you know who you really are, apart from the rest of society.  Then you can start believing in yourself, not the public or the media.

Once you connect with your true self, it's so easy then to connect with others, because you have no doubts about who you are.  A person who knows herself well is standing on level ground.  He/She can connect easily, because she's able to love herself.  That's just the magic of it all.  Find a tranquil place and moment and be aware of that person inside you who knows exactly what her favorite ice-cream is.  That's who you really are.  The more you know about who you are, the more confident you will become.  Because you will realize automatically, once you've done the getting-to-know work, that you are okay after all...at the core.  It just happens like magic.

Is it that simple?  Yes!  All you need to do is get to know the real person inside you.  What do you like, don't like?  What activity are you really passionate about?  It doesn't have to be the norm.  What type of person do you like?  Even if you think it's not cool.  If you didn't think about your audience, who would you really be.  You will feel so much better once you know who you are.  You'll be able to take off the mask.  It's the only way to connect with human beings.  You would know to connect using your authentic voice.  For some reason, when you get to know yourself uncensored, you just start feeling good.  And when you feel good, your relationships are good, intimate, rewarding and meaningful.

Try it!