How to Relax the Mind

When you are stressed out, it means that your mind is overloaded with too many thoughts about needing success and love in order to be finally happy.  You have lost touch with your true Self.  You become disconnected from who you really are and your ego takes over.  All you need to do is unload, undo, simplify.  There are many ways to relax the mind.

1.  Drop the big projects and keep the small, doable ones -- for a few days at least.  For example, you may have thoughts such as:  I want to buy a house, I want to impress my boss, I want to lose weight...all at the same time.  Prioritize your projects and leave just one or zero project on your mind -- the one that's easy to do or with nothing to do.  This is a good way to clear the mind.  By dropping the big ones, you unburden the mind, and the mind can then function more effectively.  Trust that a clear mind will always give you the answers you are looking for in life.  Don't plan, and learn to trust in the Universe.  Try it and see what happens when you give your trust to it.

2.  Simplify.  Keep only the simple tasks in your mind, for now, such as planning what you'll have for dinner, washing your car or mending your socks.  Small tasks are easier on the mind and can boost confidence when you succeed in them.  You will discover that happiness can be found when you are at peace doing just these simple things.  You train yourself to relax and yet feel successful.  And you will feel more connected to your true Self because there are no big distractions to separate you from each other.

     When you simplify your day, your actions will be in sync with your being -- the real you.  And that's what you want to know, right?  "Who am I?" is what we long for.  When there are no distractions, when the ego does not get in the way, the Self is in control.  Then you establish equilibrium.  When you are in equilibrium, you automatically feel happy and secure and fulfilled.

3.  Don't plan. 

     If you can't stop planning, you can simply simplify the plans.  This will draw you inward, closer to your true Self.  The Self is at your core where you will experience total peace.  For example:  A small plan can mean getting a small plant.  Learn to grow it.  Watering the plant is a symbol of tender loving care, and this connects you to your core.  Stay with this feeling for a while. The more you value this connection inside, the more satisfied you will be with the simpler things in life, and the more you will fall in love with this Self.

    Just be.  When you are connected with your true Self, you don't really need to plan everything, because, in most cases, you are being spontaneous.  When you know who you really are inside and out, reality becomes your friend and whatever comes along is just right and, at times, delightful.  Because you know yourself really well, you doubt yourself less.  So you are not insecure.  Being sure of yourself means you know where you stand, and you are not trying to please others because you just want to be honest to the core.

     The overactive mind causes anxiety, even depression.  The overactive mind cannot see clearly. The best way to function is when you are very relaxed.  You can learn to be this way when you stop planning.

4.  Sit with yourself for a moment and be aware of your inner core.  Do sitting meditation.  Sit in a chair or if you would rather lie down, that's fine too.  What's it like?  Be aware of who you are.  Notice your mind.  Try this for a day or two.  Just sit with yourself and let your inner quiet guide you, instead of your mind.  When the mind controls all of your every next moves, you will never experience the moment.  You are always in the future, which is not real.  And you will not be able to have time to reflect and contemplate the Now through your Self.  You can access that inner quiet when the mind is relaxed. Experience the peace of solitude. This will calm your mind.  This way is the best way to connect with the real you and to fall in love with yourself.  When you fall in love with yourself, you will learn to like solitude.  And with solitude, you become self-sufficient and wouldn't need to dream up big things in the first place, just to be happy.

     When you're just sitting, notice the thoughts that are floating around in your mind.  And then just wait.  Wait for the voice that comes from the heart.  Wait for guidance.  It will come to you.  That's your inner compass, the one that knows you.  When you get connected internally, it will feel like home.  You will feel happy and satisfied.  That's what you are really looking for in life.  It's inside you.  Focus on your self.  Don't worry about the world for now.

5.  Go Back to Basics.  Brush your teeth, make your bed, fry an egg, drink coffee, take the train, etc.  The morning is a good time to go back to basics -- to take care of the small tasks, when the sun has just risen and the day is early, when you are feeling refreshed.  Stay with the feeling and notice how simple life really is.  When we want more, we actually complicate life, and we serve the ego instead of the authentic Self.

     Basics are less complicated and easiwer to think about.  When order is restored, your mind is relaxed, and things fall into place easily.  Because the basics are the building blocks of your foundation.  You can then build on top of it or around it, whatever your heart desires -- without feeling stressed out or confused.

6.  Do a Reality Check.  There is another method of clearing the mind wherein you question the stressful thoughts or fears that cause you to suffer.  Byron Katie has four questions that will help you understand those stressful thoughts.  For example, the stressful thought might be:  Paul doesn't listen to me.  You then ask yourself if this is true.  Is it absolutely true?  Maybe Paul is just not good at saying what's on his mind.  Or maybe Paul's mind is preoccupied by problems, etc.  Then ask:  How do you react when you believe that Paul doesn't listen to you?  Write down as much as you can about your feelings and thoughts.  This way, you see on paper what is in your head.  Then you can see where you might have been confused.  You might be focusing on something unnecessarily.  Anyway, now you have a choice of what decisions or actions to take...now that you have the data.  The fourth and last question is:  Who would you be without the thought that Paul does not listen to me?  Once you can imagine your mind without the stressful thought, you would feel the freedom, peace and happiness that comes with the absence of the stressful thought.  For more information about questioning the mind, go to thework.com or google Byron Katie.

Remember, the Self is the Knower in you.  Everything you need to know about life...the Knower knows.  And it lives inside you at your core, where there are no big projects to think about and there will be nothing but peace and quiet.  All you need to do is learn to be comfortable being with yourself alone, for just a moment or a day or even a week.  Just practice and notice your mind.  Once the mind is observed, it slows down and gets out of the way.  And then your true Self will show itself.

Once you have taken care of the basics and developed a close relationship with your Self, then perhaps your big dreams will come true anyway, because you are now being your genuine Self.