No Matter Where You Are in Life

No matter where you are or no matter what stage you are at, life is teaching you something about life.

I have been unemployed for a long time...and it is a hard pill to swallow.  It seems like I have no identity unless I have a job.  But after a while, I realized that life was painting a different picture for me.  I used to wake up to the thought that my life was over...that I had nothing...that I was no good.  But having learned about mindfulness in the past, I started to reflect on the situation. There's no train to catch.  Now what?

After examining my thoughts and feelings surrounding the new life I was given, I started to notice things I didn't pay attention to when I was working.  When I was working, I was always rushing and worried about bills, deadlines, job performance, getting a raise, never having enough time for everything I thought I had to do and always afraid of what people would think of me if I made a mistake or if I failed in something.

But now, I have time to prepare breakfast mindfully and sit down at the table thinking only about what's in front of me.  I am learning something new...like being in school, in a different school.  I would go to the kitchen and I notice what a good kitchen it is.  I would look out and see the hustle and bustle outside the window.  I noticed that was good...no problem here.  While eating breakfast, I feel that the nourishment was preparing me for the day. Life is teaching me something precious, which I wouldn't have learned otherwise, if I had a 9 to 5 job.

This new school is teaching me that life is better, in a way, when you are mindful and not rushing so much, afraid of being late or failing.  I have at lot less money, but that's good because I am learning new and wonderful ways of spending and satisfying myself...making do with what I have.  Now, that's a different place from thinking you do not have enough.  There is no problem.  Only the truth to be learned.  I am happy with anticipation of creating a different reality for me that is sweet and dare I say...blessed.

Whatever life is teaching you at a particular moment or experience, don't take it forgranted.  Listen, observe, contemplate.  It's giving you the key that will unlock your potential and your happiness.

The Negative Mind

The mind is usually full of negative thoughts, because as human beings, we tend to pay attention to the negative thoughts or situation, rather than on the positive.  We put so much importance on a negative situation, and minimize what's positive or even healthy for us,  We don't focus on the positive because we have been conditioned to minimize the value of a sunny day, a nice short walk, warm gloves, cozy pajamas or heat from the radiator.  We have been conditioned to think that what's important are things that make us look successful or look good in the eyes of others.

What are negative thoughts?  These are thoughts that make you suffer.  Any time you are thinking any of the following thoughts, your mind is on the negative:

For example:

• It shouldn't be raining.
• My shoes are too tight.
• Nobody loves me.
• I need to be loved by someone.
• I need to feel important.

Thoughts like these cause discomfort and sometimes illnesses.  If you have a back ache or any body ache, for sure you are focusing on a negative thought.   They also cause problems in relationships, because you cannot really connect positively if you are in pain.  Negative thoughts cause physical and mental pain, so be aware, because it may not be obvious to you what the that thought is.

My 2015 Plan

Hello dear friends, I wish all of you a very Happy and Healthy New Year.

I just want to share with you some of my New Year's resolutions.  Basically, I want to keep it simple for 2015...no big projects or ideas of success.  I think these will be doable.

• I'll try not to be a robot.

•  When I fold my clothes after washing, I want to notice the collars and the sleeves and the hem.

• I want to appreciate Art by:
• maybe going to galleries
• surfing art blogs
• listening to artists being interviewed

•  I want to be different, authentic

• I want to practice "building"...whether it be muscles, character, a business, or a cake; setting a good foundation to make whatever it is...strong

• I want to appreciate the simple things during the cold weather, such as:
• a very warm scarf
• a heater that is steaming
• the sun shining so brightly in the living room
• Japanese Art

May 2015 run smoothly; may there be less bumps on the road; may we all find beauty and happiness from the simple things in life.

Benefits of a Quiet Mind

The best way for me to clear the mind is to question our thinking.  If you have a thought about a situation that is making you feel uncomfortable, ask yourself if the thought is true and if the thought is absolutely true.  Go to thework.com to learn about inquiry from my teacher, Byron Katie.

The benefits of a Quiet Mind are:

• you can remain calm even if there's a stressful situation
• you can be present in the moment
• you can enjoy the moment
• you can focus on the now
• your relationships will be healthier
• your communication will be clearer and authentic
• you can solve problems objectively
• you can be creative

Finding Yourself

You can't be happy until you can be yourself, alone or with others.  To find the real you, do inquiry.  Question your thoughts and beliefs.  The thought could be as simple as "my shoes are tight," "it shouldn't rain."  Or, it could be more intense, such as "people should love me," or "people should like me," or "I should know."  When you think about it, these thoughts or beliefs are quite unrealistic and untrue.  You can't really control people, much less the weather -- so why should you expect cooperation from them?  One by one, question those thoughts that make you suffer.  Then the real you will emerge from a clear mind.  No more baggage.  You'll know it's the real you because it feels good when you express authentically, and you'll be able to enjoy meditation.  This is happiness.

Finding the Moment of Awareness

Finding the Moment is a great exercise to create awareness to the self and allows you to be present instead of focusing on the past or future.  The present is the here and now.  This moment is precious.

Wherever you are right now, focus on your breath and be still for just a moment.  Find your moment and then...

Ask yourself...in this order...in this moment

1.  Where am I?  Then look around you for a moment and notice your surrounding and feel the ground beneath your feet.  Are you in the kitchen, in bed, in the lobby, on the train?

2.  What am I doing?  Sitting? Standing?  Lying down?  Hear the quietness.

3.  What do I notice?  Ex. the sound of the radiator, the humming of the birds, the noise outside, people talking, stacks of paper, etc.  Just take it all in, while remaining still.

4.  How do I feel in this moment?  Notice if you are comfortable or not.  Are you worried about something?  Are you stressed?  Do you feel good?  .... in this moment, in the stillness...

5.  What can I be thankful for in this moment, in this stillness?  Thank you that the heater is giving heat?  Thank you for my warm sweater?  Thank you for the softness of the sheets?  Thank you for my tablet?  Thank you for the money in my wallet...I can buy things with it?  Think of anything at this moment.

This exercise will help slow down the thought process and make you aware of things you otherwise would not notice if you were being robotic or in a rush or chasing after something.  This is also a good way to relax and to stop and take it all in, for a moment.

Namaste.

"Should" Overload

Depression is the result of what I call a SHOULD overload in the brain.  When the mind is overloaded with should statements, the person's system shuts down and the person, thus, can no longer function.

SHOULD statements:
1.  I should be loved.
2.  I should be liked.
3.  I should be successful.
4.  I should have lots of friends.
5.  I should have a man/woman.
6.  I should have more money.
7.  I should look good.
8.  I should be a good person.
9.  I should be perfect.
10. I should do everything right.
11. I should be healthy.
12. ETC.

WHAT TO DO:  Understand the SHOULD statements in your mind by QUESTIONING them one by one.

Is it true that I have to be loved?  Maybe I should love me first before I require others to love me.  Maybe it's not their job to love me.  Why do I need to be loved?  Answer those questions honestly and deeply.  Meditate on the questions.  Write it down.

The Work of Byron Katie has 4 basic questions you can use to do inquiry...best done by writing thoughts and feelings on paper and meditating.

Example:  I SHOULD BE LOVED (by others).

Question 1:  Is it true that YOU SHOULD BE LOVED be others?  yes/no
Question 2:  Are you absolutely sure it is true, that YOU SHOULD BE LOVED by others?  yes/no
Question 3:  How do you react when you believe the thought YOU SHOULD BE LOVED by others?  describe your feelings
Question 4:  Who would you be without the thought YOU SHOULD BE LOVED by others?  imagine that you don't believe the thought

Then turn the statement around to the opposite - I should NOT be loved by others.
then give 3 examples of why that might be true.

Sample of 3 examples of why "I should NOT be loved by others" can be true:
--I should love myself first.
--No one can love perfectly, really.
--Other people might be having difficulties in life that we don't know about.

Do the questioning process for all your should statements so that one by one they will dissolve into thin air.  It will be like a burden is lifted off your shoulders.

Namaste.