Exposing our Love

Our outer urgings are a product of our environment, of our influences, and of one's ego. This is what creates thoughts and makes them go unquestioned. The fallacy of this is in how life is lived and how everything seems to be as it appears. The ego creates this and it blocks our ability to love, this is what causes our internal battle. But if our thoughts were questioned and the mind stopped long enough to see this fallacy, our inner essence of love would be exposed as our intuitive essence. This would stop the tug-of-war with our ego and the unquestioned thoughts would never cause us to battle ourselves again.

---author:  a friend of mine and Byron Katie

Re-wiring the Brain

Rewiring the brain, to be more positive, is like programming.  Here are some steps that have worked for me:

1.  Feeding the brain with new data, such as positive thoughts and positive images.  Think of anything good or something positive...like a nice conversation you had or think of your role model or think of your dog or cat that you love so much or your favorite yogurt.

2.  Repetition is the key to successful rewiring.  Keep thinking positive thoughts, images, people or events that make you happy, no matter how small.  Interior design makes me happy so I like looking at pictures in magazines, such as Architectural Digest or Better Homes.  I keep looking at the images and imagine how I can make my own place look like that...at some point in my life.  It makes me happy.  Repeat the images and thoughts in your head throughout the day and everyday.  Remind yourself about a good thing at least three times a day or more.

3.  Observation is also key.  To do this, try to be in the present.  Be aware...of your body, surroundings, the atmosphere, objects in front of you.  Then ask yourself how you feel at the moment.  Do you feel good or bad?  If so, why?  What's bothering you?  Are your shoes too tight?  Are you thinking about your weight or money or your job?  Or what are you liking at the moment?  Do you like what you're wearing today?  Do you like the weather?  The answers to these questions are called "data."  You need this information to know where you're at and what you can do about it.  Look in the mirror and ask yourself what you see and what you feel.  That's information you can use to make a plan of action to transform your life.

4.  Tweaking or Fine Tuning your strategy to make your day or your life more positive.  It's like when an artist is carving an object of art.  The artist makes a general shape and then chips at it until it's just right for him or her.  And then finally, he/she polishes it.  We can do the same when we re-program our brains.  Maybe this week, you just need to look at the small things you want to accomplish...like the basics...like building a solid foundation to build on later.

5.  Mastering the Basics.  To build anything, you need a foundation, and a strong one.  The basics of life are the foundation of life.  Just think of the basics, like sleep, health, hygiene, order, education, budgeting, leisure, fun, laughter, etc.  Of course you don't want to be a perfectionist and always think of balance.  Master the basics and you will learn so much about yourself.  When I decided to pay attention to my bedroom, I sat on my bed and just looked at the walls.  I realized I wanted to paint it something else.  Then I looked inside my closet.  I was just browsing, and in the process, found things I could throw away to make space.  And I also found things buried that now I can use.  I paced myself.  I did one corner of the room at a time.  When I got tired, I would stop, even if I weren't finished looking through everything, or cleaning this part.  What I learned was that my room was an important place.  And I learned to value my things because I got to know them.  So it's worth taking care of them.  Lessons like these are the building blocks for happiness and success.

Eventually, after doing this rewiring for a period of time, you will encounter a series of aha! moments...glimpses of the truth.  And then good things start to happen and life becomes so much easier and fun.

You're the Boss of You

People get depressed because they focus on others and what's outside.  Negative thoughts, such as I'm not good enough, etc., can ruin your entire life.  The more you think negative thoughts, the more they grow and multiply inside your head.  You need a home, an anchor, inside of you that would neutralize these vicious negative thoughts.

Living up to society's standards is impossible.  You think you are not a success, but the other is.  But Life is big, wide and abundant.  Life is huge.  You cannot go by how others live it.  That would limit you.  That's why you don't get it.  There are a gazillion ways to live life.  You have to deal with Life according to who you are, the one that's got the unique finger print.  You can go by how you see it -- your own way.  You're the one who knows what tickles you or delights you or scares you inside, in private.  There's this you that you need to explore -- the breadth and depth of it.  This unique you is wide and deep.  There's so much to know about your true self -- the unknown.  Take the time to get to know it.  It could take years or even a lifetime, but it's so worth it.  How come you don't know who you really are?  Because you focus on others.  There's only one you that is different from the others.  The real you is where home is.  That's where peace is. 

Are you comfortable where you are sitting?  Shift your body a bit until you find that sweet spot...that awareness of your own self.  Who might that you be who does not always look around for validation, who does not compare itself to others and wondering what's going on outside so it can do the same?  Wonder what's going on with the real you instead?  You'll be surprised at the truth you will find about the real you...and it will astound and delight you...if you really try. 

You don't feel good enough because there's this picture of life that you think is the way it should be.  But no one person has the correct recipe for life, for everyone.  It's individual and diverse and goes according to you, the one and only you.  Be yourself...try it out.  It's scary but it's the only way out and the only path to true happiness.

There is actually a manual for life.  Do you know where it is?  It's inside you.  You have your own take on life that's yours alone.  Don't make it less important than other people's take on life.  That's theirs, not yours.  What if there were no trends or fads or the majority?  What then?  Follow your own heart and mind..  Who would you go by but yourself?  Because you're different from others.  That's why I made as many paragraphs as I wanted on this post.  It's according to my delight, not what others see as correct.

Making Small Things Special

The process of creating involves some interesting elements.  To be able to create something special or special moments, here are some pointers for doing small things, like chopping onions:

1.  Imagine yourself in a preaceful place, like maybe a garden with lots of greenery, peace and quiet...where you are comfortable.

2.  Be flexible.  It doesn't have to be 100% perfect all the time.  Don't ruin your health or get so stressed out because you want it to be a certain way.  Take your time, don't rush even if it means not finishing the task completely.  Yes, you want it to be special, but not at the risk of losing your health or peace of mind.  You still would have accomplished a good amount, even if it's not all of it.

3.  Be mindful.  Be aware of your self, your movements, what's in front of you.  Let your mind be present in the moment.  Don't worry about what happens next.

4.  Visualize...the steps, how it will look, where you are, and the atmosphere.

5.  Think fun.  How can you have fun with it?  Be playful in your mind.

6.  Feel free.  Imagine that you are totally unencumbered and no one's looking over your shoulder.  You're not afraid of anyone.  You're care free..a free spirit.

7.  Give it time.  Whatever you are doing or planning, think about how much time you would like to have ideally.  Imagine spending that time all by yourself without watching the clock...10 minutes or one hour.  Don't rush.  Enjoy every bit of it.  It's like you're the boss.

8.  Make the task important to you.  This applies to things that are small or mundane.  You're gonna have to do it anyway.  You want to give it your full attention and concentration.  Don't just wing it.  Feel as if you want to create something special.  This will make the task more like fun.  Try cooking a dish your way, or watering the plants with much care.

9.  Whatever it is, do it your way, as opposed to their way.  Don't think trends or society.  You'll be surprised how unique your way is, even if your ideas weren't grand or extraordinary.  Simple thoughts that come from the real you can produce something special and authentic.  You do it for yourself, not others.

Three Mental Health Goals

1.   Don't be a robot, be spontaneous.  You have awareness.  Don't be automatic all the time.

2.   Be mindful.  Stop, look and listen.  Slow down and pay attention to what's in front of you.  Be aware of the self.

3.   Practice positive reinforcement.  Jog your memory for times when something small but good happened.  For example, when something went right just as planned, or when you blurted out something nice, or when you felt at peace watching the swaying of the tree on a clear day.  Relish the moments.

This is how you re-wire your brain.