Unemployment and Thinking Outside the Box

If you find yourself unemployed these days, look at it as an opportunity to think outside the box.  All our working lives, we live as slaves of the corporation.  We're afraid of being fired, or we get disgruntled because we are paid so little.  So if you are unemployed right now, rejoice!  It forces you to think outside the box.  Give up the old ways of thinking.  Look around you, observe, brainstorm about ways to make money.  Evaluate your budget.  Do you really need so much money?  If you don't have the latest gadget, are you afraid you will be rejected by your peers?  Are you free?  A lot of our fears are fears of rejection that put us in a box.  Break out of that box.  Think of all the fears that keep you inside the box.  Break out of the box!  Society can reject you for being different or poor, but you can bear it.  In exchange for that rejection is your freedom.  Are you afraid of being homeless?  Are you afraid of begging?  When I lost my job, I felt like my life was over.  I felt like I lost my identity, because my job gave me my self-worth.  But I learned to budget and penny pinch.  I discovered a new joy from being with very little money, but I have my mind for thinking and my heart for creativity. I began to notice my surroundings.  I used to ignore the trees and the flowers.  I used to ignore how much money I already had, compared to nothing.  And I discovered that there's no such thing as nothing.  There is everything in my life...I just didn't focus on them because my mind was focused on my lack.  I was always thinking that I lacked this, I lacked that.  And I ignored what I already had, and how much worth it had.  I found enjoyment from a simple sandwich for lunch...two slices of whole wheat bread and cheese, but being in peace.  I found enjoyment in just sitting outside with a cup of coffee and being with my thoughts.  I began to understand where I invested my time and effort.  My values changed.  I learned to value the "small" things in life.  Now, I value being able to wake up in the morning.  I value my intelligence and creativity because I can discover how to live an authentic life, instead of life in a box.

Where is the Real You?

We always want to know what the trend is, so we are not left behind.  Society tells us that our only purpose is to win and be successful, according to the norm.  Oftentimes, we confuse what society wants with what we want for ourselves.  We're afraid to not be like the others.  We cannot find our own voice in the midst of all the other voices -- our teachers', our friends', our parents', our colleagues', the media's, etc.  T.D. Jakes tells us to follow our gut in order to be connected to our true self.  Eckhart Tolle tells us to learn to be conscious at all times.  Byron Katie teaches us to question our thinking.  These are many ways that can help us find the real you, so that you can feel at ease, so you are living an authentic life.  Living an authentic life brings so much peace and happiness and limitless joy.  The real you is there, at your core, in your center.  Find it and discover that everything you really want, you already have.  It's not out there, it's in here.  Don't be afraid of being with your self.  Your self is your true guide.  You will find God there.

The Subconscious

My premise is that there's a place down deep inside where we know everything we need to know about life.  Whatever we're looking for is inside us.  We just need to unlock the door to our inner self, tune in to our inner voice, and access our subconscious.  Our goal is to find that inner guide, to get in touch with that deep part of ourselves that knows everything.

The way to tap into the subconscious is to be aware of your mental pain or sense of "unease."  Go to every nook and cranny of your subconscious.  Every time you feel mental pain or unease, stop for a moment and pay attention to the feelings and thoughts.  Get to know what is making you suffer, what is bothering you, no matter how subtle the feeling.  Use your pain as a source of information. Everything and anything you feel, think or believe is information.  Knowledge is power.  Who knows you better than any other person on earth?  The answer is:  you.  You are the experiencer.  You only need to trust yourself and connect with your inner self.

Some common subconscious beliefs are:
-I'm not good enough
-Nobody loves me
-Life is difficult
-I need to be loved

I used to have these thoughts that always made me feel uncomfortable, separate from others, like an outsider.  But eventually, I realized that I was holding on to these beliefs without questioning their validity.  I realized that those negative beliefs were absolutely not true.  I only believed them because I believed the stories from the news, from TV, from movies, from magazines.  Of course I don't need to be good enough for others.  And once I stopped believing those thoughts, I found out that life was easy, not difficult.

Once the subconscious is unlocked, cravings will go away, aches and pains will disappear, our health will be better and we will feel an "easing up" and a sense of clarity in our thoughts, and lightheartedness.  We may even have visions.  It will be easy to let go and we can desire with ease.

Being Authentic

Being authentic can be hard for some of us, because the voice of the inner critic is so strong, telling you that others are better than you.  When you look up to someone because he or she looks so "together," what happens to your authenticity?  These are some reactions that we have when we think others are better than us:
We copy other people's ways, cultures, standards (we lack originality)
We're too hard on ourselves (perfectionistic)
We don't allow ourselves to make mistakes
We always feel that others are judging us -- being too self-conscious
We compare ourselves to others, always
We don't allow ourselves to be different, therefore, creativity is stifled
We have to prove to others that we are good (needing validation)
We need to feel important, in order to measure up
We cannot explore or expand, for fear of ridicule
We fear exclusion
We cannot fail, for fear of rejection
We need the approval of others, to know we're right

If you want to be authentic, notice how you feel.  Stop every now and then and notice.  If you don't feel good, stop.  Identify the feeling.  Ask questions.  Clarify.

Be aware of the moment.  Do this throughout the day.  Feel the experience.  What's good about it, what's bad about it?  What blessings are you receiving right now?  Identify your feelings and desires at the moment.

Awareness will guide you and point you to the solutions.  Connect with your inner being and notice how slowly but surely, you are becoming aware of who you really are.

Are Others Better Than You?

Are you comfortable always measuring up to "better than" standards?  For example:  If you don't feel beautiful or smart, like others, what would the consequences be for you?  We are always overcompensating.

We learned in childhood, and even later on into adulthood, the notion of "better than" -- that other groups or people or cultures or other ways are "better."

"Better than" groups are exclusive.  Some examples are:  Aristocracy, Executives (glass ceiling, bamboo ceiling), royalty, expensive neighborhoods, elite schools, religions.

People define "better than" categories based on:  economic status, beauty standards, job titles, age, sexual orientation, religion, race.

What was your experience with the notion of "better than?" -- when you thought others were better, or they thought you were not as good as them.  Look at your own situation and examine your beliefs around this concept.  This way, it will become clear to you that being better is not that important to you after all, because in reality, there is no one person or thing that is really better than you.  The truth is you just want to be yourself.

When You Assume

Assumptions come from our interpretation of our experiences, our surroundings and what we learn from others.  Assumptions become our beliefs that we then internalize.

If you don't feel good about yourself, what do you assume about the world?  Or, what is your belief about life?

Beliefs can be very subjective -- meaning that they are not absolute truths, but are based on your emotions, interpretations, perceptions, and even biases.

Assumptions or beliefs are very powerful because many times they are in the unconscious and are invisible.  They are difficult to identify and see, and yet they determine the extent of our goals and dreams, actions and behaviors.

As we form our assumptions and beliefs, we tend to generalize and magnify.  So for example, if your boyfriend breaks up with you, you start believing that there's something very wrong with you, that life is unfair, that relationships are scary, and that all men are the same.  Your opinion of relationships and men become negative.  So you start making assumptions based on your feelings.

What if you assume that there is something very wrong with you?  That would certainly limit you in many ways.  Are you basing your assumption on how others see you?  We only grow by learning from our experiences.  Without experiences, we become stunted.  And the idea is that the next time, we will know more and have a better experience.

When you experience something bad, like a break-up or loss of employment or an insult, notice the things that you quietly say to yourself.  You make assumptions:  "I am doomed," "I can't go on," "I'm no good," etc.  Ask yourself if those statements are really true and what is the evidence?  Intellectually, we know that they are not true, but we become emotional and start generalizing and magnifying.

Get to know your negative assumptions about life, people, and situations.  Question them.  Are they true?  Most likely, they are are not abolutely true.

Low Self Esteem: Self-Assessment

There are many negative feelings and thoughts associated with low self-esteem.  Some of them are the following:
-Afraid to express ideas and opinion
-Not believing in self and abilities
-Not wanting to test abilities, ideas
-Thinking scarcity
-Avoidance, Retreat, Hiding
-Feeling weak
-Cannot take rejection

If you jot down some of your criticisms about yourself, you will be able to analyze and reflect on them.  Ask yourself this question:  What then?

If you're afraid to express your ideas and opinions, what happens?  Some answers to this particular question could be:
-I will not be able to participate fully.
-I will not be able to express myself.
-My feelings will be bottled up inside.
-I will not be able to grow.
-I will feel bad about myself.
If you don't believe in your self and your abilities, what will happen?
-You'll be bored.
-You'll feel stuck.
-You cannot test your abilities.
-You will not find out the truth.

You can see how your behavior is driven by negative feelings and thoughts that can affect the quality of your life, and can lead to depression.
Try this exercise.  Listen to the voice of your inner critic.  What is it saying about yourself?  It's a good way to get to know yourself.  Self-knowledge is the way to freedom.  Take your time, relax and get paper and pencil and start writing.