When You Assume

Assumptions come from our interpretation of our experiences, our surroundings and what we learn from others.  Assumptions become our beliefs that we then internalize.

If you don't feel good about yourself, what do you assume about the world?  Or, what is your belief about life?

Beliefs can be very subjective -- meaning that they are not absolute truths, but are based on your emotions, interpretations, perceptions, and even biases.

Assumptions or beliefs are very powerful because many times they are in the unconscious and are invisible.  They are difficult to identify and see, and yet they determine the extent of our goals and dreams, actions and behaviors.

As we form our assumptions and beliefs, we tend to generalize and magnify.  So for example, if your boyfriend breaks up with you, you start believing that there's something very wrong with you, that life is unfair, that relationships are scary, and that all men are the same.  Your opinion of relationships and men become negative.  So you start making assumptions based on your feelings.

What if you assume that there is something very wrong with you?  That would certainly limit you in many ways.  Are you basing your assumption on how others see you?  We only grow by learning from our experiences.  Without experiences, we become stunted.  And the idea is that the next time, we will know more and have a better experience.

When you experience something bad, like a break-up or loss of employment or an insult, notice the things that you quietly say to yourself.  You make assumptions:  "I am doomed," "I can't go on," "I'm no good," etc.  Ask yourself if those statements are really true and what is the evidence?  Intellectually, we know that they are not true, but we become emotional and start generalizing and magnifying.

Get to know your negative assumptions about life, people, and situations.  Question them.  Are they true?  Most likely, they are are not abolutely true.