It's OK to be Depressed

I learned something new last Monday from my meetup in NYC.  I learned that it is totally okay to be depressed.  It doesn't mean you will not try to be happier, but don't beat yourself up in the process.  Many people do not like to hear from depressed individuals.  But who cares what others think?  The important thing is that you love yourself no matter what, whether you are depressed or not.  Depression is a reality that many are experiencing.  It's part of life. 

It is harder to be at peace if you are judging the depression.  Do not try to push it away.  Instead, get to know your depression.  Question the thoughts or beliefs that make you suffer.  Is it true?  Are you absolutely sure it's true?  I learned these questions from The Work of Byron Katie.  We have so many negative thoughts that we are not aware of, that make us depressed.  Some negative thoughts are:  "it's bad that it's raining," "parents should love their children," "war is bad," etc.  Questioning these petty thoughts can bring so much relief.  Question these thoughts one by one and the mind will gradually or even magically heal itself.  Do it for yourself, not for others.  Go to thework.com to find out about the 4 basic questions to do inquiry, or email me for the information.

Best of luck!

The Tough Gets Going

Sometimes you have to act tough if you don't want to go on a downward spiral.  Sometimes it helps to fight back.  So start now.  Make a vow to move forward or upward.  Be conscious that your head is filled with depression-thoughts right now.  Don't be discouraged by the enormity of the depression.  As the saying goes, "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."  You can't get from here to there without that single step, and then another, and then another.  If you can train your mind to think negative thoughts, to think that nothing matters, or nobody cares, then you can train your mind to think the opposite as well.

I usually start the day by being conscious of the sun -- so I go to the living room and notice how the sunlight floods the room or how the sunlight is laying on the couch.  I pick up my Byron Katie book and lay my head on the couch.  Then I notice how the sun hits the page, and how clearly it makes the words appear.  If that's all you can do for ten minutes, you've already begun that thousand-mile journey to peace.  You have defeated the negative talk in your head for that long.  Remember, many times you are not conscious of the thoughts.  You believe them automatically, and many times you don't even know that you believe the thought. 

It's really so easy to cave in to negative thoughts.  Negative thoughts have so much power that it is so easy to depress yourself, consciously or unconsciously, if you wanted to.  So be aware of what you are telling yourself or how you view the world.  Question your beliefs, such as nobody loves me, it's too difficult, I don't know what to do, etc..  I recommend reading any of Byron Katie's books, especially "Loving What Is," or go to thework.com and familiarize yourself with her method of inquiry to clear the mind, find peace and see reality for what it is.

As you learn to find things that are working for you, the more you will guide yourself into finding the truth that will set your mind free.  Your breath is a gift, isn't it?  Think about that.  Look closely at your hands and feet.  Your feet will take you from one place to another.  Your hands can make things.  You don't have to be a superstar to be happy.  You can just sit by yourself or chat with someone over a cup of tea or coffee, and that would be enough.  Why are you looking for something or someone if you already have so much in front of you.  The more you want money, friends and health, the more you don't pay attention what's just in front of you:  the plants, the furniture, the vegetables, tea, the dishes, your Mom, your friend, your neighbor, your dog.  Ask yourself why you are asking for more? -- This will help ease your mind and lift your depression, one step at a time.

So go out there, even if you don't want to, you might find something that you will like, by accident.  I went to a dance festival last night even if I didn't feel like it, just as a way to fight the oncoming depression.  I convinced myself that I will enjoy the evening, the train ride with my sister, the walk to the dance studio, and the dances.  I was lucky, because the event was held in a small, intimate setting with big windows that had a spectacular view of Manhattan's evening skyline.  The creativity that I witnessed that night inspired the spirit inside me, as I felt the cool breeze coming through.  Go out there and find something, experiment.  Rate your experience from 1-10.  See which ones felt good -- which activity, which place, which person.  What thoughts keep popping up?
Fight back!

Investing for the Future When in Depression

Investing is a concept for depression.  When we think of treatment for depression, it helps to invest.  What I mean by invest is "do something today for tomorrow."  If you're doing positive thinking or doing affirmations in order to fight depression, bear in mind that success is not always instantaneous.  So don't think that your method is not working.  If you work all day questioning your thoughts and searching for the truth, you might not get the good effect until the following day.  You will notice that when you wake up the next day, you feel better than yesterday.  The bad feelings are no longer there, but you had to wait a whole day to get that result.

So think long-term.  If you make it a habit to think good thoughts all day long, you are actually training your mind to think differently.  You are programming your mind to look for the good things in life.  Rather than focusing your thoughts on what is wrong about life, you are learning to focus your thoughts on what is right about life.  If you do this training everyday, you will feel differently after one day, and moreso after one month.  This method will inspire you and teach you how you can love life.

Investing time and effort for your mental health will surely bear fruits for you in the future.  It's like building a house or a sand castle.  You work at it one step at a time, and patiently, and carefully, and thoughtfully, so that in the end your foundation and structure is strong and enduring.  Whatever your method is in fighting depression, it will work if you are viewing your efforts as investment and that you know to wait for the investment to grow and multiply.  This makes suffering for a day or two worthwhile, because you know that your method is working even if it's not instantaneous.  You have plenty of time to enjoy your new mind and well being in the near future.  Slow but sure is a good thing after all.

Investing also involves risk and a lot of thought, reasearch and analysis.  At the beginning, the search for a cure is through trial-and-error.  Always be honest with yourself.  If one way is not working for you and you've given it enough time, ask yourself why it's not working, and then look for a new way.  Listen to your heart, and be rational at the same time.

Talking About Depression

When my Mom told me that David Letterman was going to be on Oprah's network, I was somewhat interested.  But when he said that David Letterman admitted to Oprah that he was depressed, I got really very interested.  I told my Mom that I was glad Letterman will say he is depressed on television, because I knew people would listen to him and believe him.  I always had a problem talking about depression to others, even to my family and my therapist, because they always made me feel that it was something I can "will" to go away, just by forcing on a smile, or going to the gym.  The truth is that when your at the throes of a very bad depression, you cannot just will it away.  You feel like you're all tied up with a rope around your body and you are gagged.  If that's how you feel, it's really hard to depend on just your will. 

So I patiently went to my psychiatrist once a month, and waited until we found the right medication that would work for me, that did not have any serious side effects.  The process to find the right medication may take a long time, up to 6-8 months (for me) because you have to try different brands in different dosages.  Each time you try on a new drug or a new dosage of the drug, you have to wait 1-2 months for the drug to kick in; and if the drug or dosage didn't work, you have to try again and wait another 1-2 months.

I tried lexapro at different dosages, and then remeron.  Finally, the combination of remeron and celexa worked, with no side effects.  The medication helped me to get up from bed, take walks, exercise, write on my journal, do housework, watch TV, talk to people. 

Finding the right medication that works for you is a great opportunity to do self-help.  Once I felt better because of the medication, I explored different types of self-help.  I read books by Deepak Chopra and Wayne Dyer.  But then I discovered The Work of Byron Katie, which is a tool to inquire and question our thinking that causes us to suffer.  I try to do it everyday.  The Work is so freeing that you can really feel a great sense of well being and peace, once you've done the questioning.  Google "Byron Katie" and go to her website to learn more about the basic 4 questions she uses to do self-inquiry.  Because of all the self-help that I did, I was able to really grow to appreciate my therapist.  I began to understand her approach to therapy.  I got it, and I realize now how right she is.  Basically, she keeps me grounded in reality, because I often argue with reality and expect life to be something that it's not.